3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
