my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
