also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
