Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize