i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
