i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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