who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
