absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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