Nicole vs. Life
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
