As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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