It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
