Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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