GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
