i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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