He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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