I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it glows. i had to have it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
