There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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