i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
