ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
