Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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