and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
