my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
