didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
