they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
