He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
