I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
