Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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