Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
