i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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