ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize