Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm too high and old for this...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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