Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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