your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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