I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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