We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
