So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
