i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
