dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
