it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
