please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize