k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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