Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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