Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
