I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
