we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
