Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this will be a night to untag.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
