i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
