Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
