She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
