What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
