you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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