so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
