Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
