What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
