LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize