and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I looked at my own cervix.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
