Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
