I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
