I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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