Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
