I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
