there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
