i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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