Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
