did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize