by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
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You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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