you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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