I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
